Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it was like eating out sand paper
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
