Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
