Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
