And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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