you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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