he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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