I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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