You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
