If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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