I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
