I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
