I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
FUCK WHALES
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