drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
