If i come over, it means nothing
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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