Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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