I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
false alarm. still invincible.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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