i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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