...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
