I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
