Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
