Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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