Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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