God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
