took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
