Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
