yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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