i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
