Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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