using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
