I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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