Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
