Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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