He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
