sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
