haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
