I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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