He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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