would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
