dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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