i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
