i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
