i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
