She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
