i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
