I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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