i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
