I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize