I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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