so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
