doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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