I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
