dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
