I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
