I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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