I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
