ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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