She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
