Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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