I bet he comes in French.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
