3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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