areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
