You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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