Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
