he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize