Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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