i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize